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F.R.E.S.H. Start For Your Love Life

F.R.E.S.H Start For Your Love Life

by Ruth Sharon

I heard a story about a young man home on leave from the Army who was impatiently standing in the grocery checkout line. The woman in front of him only had one item. His mind went off in anger. Why is she in my line? I am in a hurry. She should be in the Express Lane. Why don’t people follow the rules? 

His anger was rising as he watched the customer handing her baby to the cashier. What is going on? This is ridiculous. I have to get on with my day. What is wrong with people? Doesn’t that cashier see she has a long line forming?  He stood and waited and tried to calm down. When he finally got up to the cashier, he mumbled, “That was a cute baby,” trying to be nice. The cashier’s eyes teared up and said, “My husband was recently killed in the Army so I had to go to work. My mom brings our baby to my line every day so I can hug him.”  The Army soldier was moved to tears himself. As he walked out of the store with a more compassionate heart, he realized he had judged harshly without knowing what was truly going on.

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How often do we make assumptions and react according to our story of what we think is going on? This can cause real distance between us and the others in our lives. In love relationships we live with our prejudgements as if they are true and may not bother to check them out with our partner.

When coaching couples, I ask people to listen more deeply and to reflect what they are hearing to make sure they have accurate information, whether it be facts or feelings. Many times we miss the mark and hear only part of what is being shared, or overlay our own story so the other person’s reality morphs into our version of their truth.

Are you willing to stop your own agenda and shed light on your partner so you can truly experience him or her in the present moment?

Here are some ideas to create a fresh start for your love life in any moment:

Alyssa and Dave McCall 2013

F=forgive yourself for making assumptions, and forgive your partner/friend/family for not understanding you.

R=reset your intention and commitment to listen better, to be more present, and to bring qualities and values to your relationship.

E=energize what you want to grow in your life and with your loved one. Make an action plan and follow through.

S=share with your partner or others what you plan to bring forth  so you can create synergy and accountability.

H=honor the holiness  of your relationship and your life. Be humble and curious rather than pre-judging.

PRACTICE: Breath in more of the qualities your desire and exhale the stagnancy of the old patterns and behaviors. Be grateful, open and respectful — see what happens!

Friends

What is your word for your new way of being? I am calling on EASE to be more present in my life. I breathe in EASE and exhale to release burdens of worry or guilt. Post your ideas here or on our Facebook page.

 

 

With ease,

Your Soulful Couples relationship coaches,
Ruth and Jim Sharon
www.energyforlife.us

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