Open the Pathways to Wellness and Love.

50 Years of Learning

Jim and Ruth engagedOn 11/11/67, I glanced at Jim Sharon across the room at his Penn State apartment and felt a sudden shudder surge through me. “He’s so cute,” I thought. We preceded to date, break up, reunite, have two years of a long distance relationship and finally marry on June 7, 1970.

In retrospect, I am aware that I had repeatedly rehearsed who I would marry. I had consciously and subconsciously been preparing for him to show up. As a little girl I pictured my adult life, married and with kids. I had no idea how much grander, more awakening and satisfying this life could be.

Our relationship has developed over these 50 years in such astonishing and mundane ways. We married in a traditional Jewish synagogue in the East, moved to Colorado, studied/practiced many spiritual traditions, opened a wellness center, and started working together in private practice. Our paths kept dovetailing in mysterious ways.  We have raised three precious children into adulthood. They are all married and have stayed really close with each other and us. To date, we have two gorgeous granddaughters, with more to come, we hope.

I feel so blessed and grateful !

Ruth and Jim almost 50 years laterI am learning to be kinder, gentler, more forgiving, more available and more joyful. Here are some practices I focus on:

  1. Listening and being mindful: I try to stay as present as I can so I am truly hearing Jim (and others, of course) and not my fantasy or judgments of what he’s expressing. Wishing he were different is a real dead end street. Sharing with each other daily what transpires, what needs we have, what desires we cultivate, our plans and hope all bring an intimacy that is indescribable.
  2. Aligning with our highest intentions or aspirations,  as I embrace the most wounded or diminished parts. This is a real stretch! I open my heart and speak/allow what unites us to be in the foreground. What separates us is the you vs. me or protective parts that don’t trust. I can often notice the wound and aspire to be an agent of healing. Meditating and praying together is a sure catalyst to our mutual respect and caring.
  3. Having fun and enjoying little moments and huge events (like the birth of our kids, their weddings or the birth of our granddaughters). We celebrate and laugh a lot. We find humor in silly things, especially in our idiosyncrasies and ironies of life. We honor holidays, birthdays, rituals and Sabbath. I like to savor precious moments and elongate the pleasure as long as I can. Settling into the present moment to really feel what is happening, expressing gratitude and “saving” the feelings in my memory banks keep the experience alive longer!

This is a brief list. I could go on and on. Being married and working together has provided a fierySecrets of a soulful marriage crucible in which layers of my ego can burn off, so my true essence can shine forth. Read more ideas, learn more about us and other couples in our book,

Secrets of a Soulful Marriage: Creating and Sustaining A Loving, Sacred Relationship, SkyLight Paths, 2014 (it makes a great holiday gift!).

What are you learning about healthy relationships? Let me know how I may support you in your quest for
satisfying, lasting love.

Your relationship coach,

Ruth Sharon
(303) 796-7004
www.energyforlife.us

 

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Jim and Ruth Sharon

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