Can’t Count the Ways

Posted in marriage, Relationships on 01/31/2012 03:35 am by Jim Sharon


We live in a very fast-paced, restless, impatient and largely unforgiving society that places a premium on newness and manufactures product obsolescence. Relationships are fast becoming relegated to tweets, text messages and a few Facebook lines. Given that climate or unfertile soil, is it any wonder that romances often quickly fizzle and that our divorce rate is so high? Enough said about the downside.

I’m unabashedly proud to announce that this month Ruth and I will be celebrating our 43rd Valentine’s Day together — should have been 44, but I broke up with her after three fabulous dates because I was frightened of the intimacy at age 21. Fortunately, I acquired some “sanity” and courage in March of that year and have never again “pulled the plug.”

Over the years, we have learned that intense drama and dull knives only hurts us and detracts from our personal and relationship growth. For most of our 41 years of marriage, we have worked diligently to become more mutually accepting and supportive, as well as more centered and increasingly resilient. On a core level, we have devoted ourselves to gradually, yet steadily effacing our egos and to “leveling the playing field” in our relational attitudes, communication and conflict-resolution efforts.

None of this has been easy; we’ve probably endured as many valleys as we’ve celebrated peak experiences. However, our foundation of unconditional love and our commitment to persistence has paid off royally. Regarding the latter, I recently read a great quote by the decorated World War II general Douglas McArthur, “People grow old by deserting their ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up wrinkles the soul.”

Several overarching realizations fill me with utter joy:

  • the depth of our cherishing and respecting one another
  • the quantity and quality of parallel career and spiritual paths we’ve shared
  • that we have raised three stellar children, one of whom has an incredible daughter

As the old romantic saying goes, “How many ways do I love you? Let me count the ways.” Happily, Ruth and I have both lost count. Our cups indeed runneth over, yet we have room for a lot more zesty juice!

-Jim

 

Be Your Best Self in 2012

Posted in Balance, Coaching, life changes, Yoga and Meditation on 01/04/2012 12:59 am by Ruth Sharon

Happy 2012!!

As we enter this auspicious new year, I am remembering the famous quotes: “Be the change you want to see in the world,” and “Let there be peace in the world, and let it begin with me.” My intention for 2012 is to make my own personal changes (just met with a fitness coach, for example!), align with my best self and serve as a hopeful example for others. What changes do you want to see in the world and what peace/piece of this do you want to take responsibility and ownership of this year?? We are all called to something….what’s your deep desire??

Check out this inspiring ten-minute video: “Change for a Dollar”!

Please feel free to let me know your intentions for change in 2012, by email, phone (303-796-7004), in person, or in the comment section.

As predicted, this is time of great polarization and upheaval. Many of my clients, students, neighbors and extended family feel the societal downward pull into fear, fatigue, anxiety, depression, resignation, misbehavior, dishonesty, deception, illness, instability and terror. The younger generations seem so confused about what life is really about and how they can make a difference. They long for models and guidance. I call on myself daily to raise my own awareness/wakefulness, to choose my thoughts, words and actions with utmost care, and be present to participate fully in each moment. How can we serve as models for our young people and our peers? Let’s rise to the challenge!

“Be Your Best Self: Yoga for Families” is my new book, soon to be released, that I wrote with my daughter and granddaughter, as a contribution to serve the next generations. We offer some practical, healthy ways to take care of ourselves and build family closeness.

This book title reflects my spiritual longing. How can I awaken to who my “best self” is and energize the ability to manifest what is best in any moment?? Many of us are calling on ourselves to be/ do the same. The five chapters of the book share yoga practices and other methods to be flowing, be flexible, be strong, be balanced and be calm.

Hopefully, we can move through 2012 as the change we want to see and make peace with ourselves and with those in our sphere of influence.

Be well,
Ruth Sharon

 

Secret Passageway

Posted in Balance on 11/29/2011 12:31 am by Jim Sharon


I have long considered myself an observor of human nature and cultural trends. During most of my lifetime I have witnessed Americans at large being obsessed with consumption. This past decade, our nation is being consumed by consumption. Many of us cannot seem to satiate our appetites for material goods, advanced technology, travel, etc. I am not “dissing” any of these things in themselves. However, I suggest that our prominent focus on the external, including on social media, has taken us way out of balance in our daily lives.

A refrain from a popular song by “Charlene” simply, yet aptly states, “I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me.” The Greek philosopher Plato implored, “know thyself!” Indeed, we need a cultural return to developing inner wisdom, a commonly-lost art in our contemporary society. Do you crave more alone time, repose, opportunities to take stock of yourself, etc.?

I feel very privileged and fortunate (but not holier than thou) to have received a rigorous psychological and spiritual education from a number of wise teachers and guides. While such learning served to refine my basic introspective nature, I am especially grateful for being taught to discover the depths of love.

The human heart contains a portal to Divine Love, aka Truth, which is replete with beauty and free of dogma. One arrives at the threshold of that portal once s/he realizes his inner beauty and resurrects or contacts the longing to connect with The Source of All Life. At that point, one’s journey toward The Light is quickened. Then, one’s relationship with the external world shifts, essentially taking on less significance (although it’s still often enjoyable).

Thus, the heart’s sincere intention and profound desire to “come Home” is enough to invoke the grace that at least gradually illuminates one’s personal path.

“Once you have given up your limited self willingly to the Unlimited, you will rejoice so much in that consciousness that you will not care to be small again.”
-Hazrat Inayat Khan

-Jim Sharon

 

Paw Print on My Heart

Posted in family healing, life changes on 11/09/2011 11:36 pm by Ruth Sharon

Learning from loss is powerful heart medicine. Our precious Daphnie dog passed from this life last Sunday after the vet diagnosed her with spleen cancer the prior Tuesday. We had little time to prepare.

When she passed away, we took her to our vet. One of the lovely vet techs made a clay impression of her back paw for us to take home to bake. When I took it out of the oven, the pad looked like a heart. Her presence in my life surely has left a paw print on my heart.

We put this paw print, her collar, a scarf she liked to wear, her ashes, family photos with her and some candles on a table for a “shrine to love.” When our younger daughter comes home from LA at the end of this month for our book launch party, we will have a memorial service.

Daphnie was a dear friend who is missed greatly, not only by our family, but also the myriad of people who came to our house for business and socializing. She was our trusted “receptionist” for counseling and coaching clients, and a warm greeter for those coming to parties and meetings. The house feels so empty without her.

I never knew the unconditional love of a pet before and that grieving could be so very painful. Jim and I kept instinctively saying or doing routine things to our absent dog for the first week—like asking her to take her daily walk or eat or have a treat or play with something or go outside or…. The rituals were so ingrained after 11 years of her living with us. This week, the impulse is gone and only her loving Spirit remains in our hearts. The crying comes in waves, like an old friend coming to visit then leaving. Softening the heart with vulnerable feelings of loss also serves to awaken in me the humility and gratitude for all that this life means to me. What a gift!

Jim and I now feel the compelling need to create and allow new routines from morning to night that do not include Daphnie dog. Our morning prayers last longer without the interruption of letting her outside. Our dinners can be candlelit and slower; yoga in the living room without being licked in the face allows me to go deeper; spontaneous play and lovemaking can be anywhere in the house! Going out for a whole day without having to come back to feed and walk her gives us a new freedom. So our “empty nest” allows for more couple and private time, which is a real blessing.

Namaste,
Ruth

 

Recipe for Successful Healing

Posted in Health, Wellness on 10/18/2011 02:45 am by Ruth Sharon

As I recover from my hard fall at the end of August, I am integrating some very valuable lessons. I will call this my “recipe for successful healing!” First of all, falling can be viewed as symbolic, as well as literal. My left knee is healing and in fact, I took my first slow walk around the block today with my dog Daphnie, who was with me on my fall. So my obvious lessons involve being present and looking where I am going (as I did today), accepting help and taking really good care of myself.

The symbolic lessons have been unfolding: falling has brought me to humility, vulnerability and receptivity to being supported. (literally “to my knees”). The seven weeks, thus far, of limited activity have also narrowed my scope of what I can take on and accomplish. I have said “no” to more offers and invitations than I normally would in my “Super Woman” suit. As you may have heard, being in bed with my leg elevated allowed me to finish writing my book! I guess I had to be wrestled down to complete the task at hand! The Universe/God sometimes takes drastic means to get a point across.

I am so grateful for the loving support of family, friends, clients and students, expert healing assistance from amazing professionals and a deepening commitment to self-care. I draw on my inner resources daily through meditating, breathing, energy healing, praying and being receptive to intuition. Yoga continues to be a valuable ally that helps me everyday to be aware, to stretch, to strengthen, to balance and to be calm. Rest, repose, music and reading soothe my soul as well.

So the lessons continue: focus and do what is essential, do not be distracted with the myriad of demands and enticements, and keep stress and fear to a minimum. I really hope and pray I can keep including these recipe ingredients:

1. Be present.

2. Take one small step at a time.

3. Be humble and grateful.

4. Stay focused on the essentials.

May you be blessed with safe travels on your life journey and create your own recipe for success (without falling).

Be well,
Ruth

 

Falling Gracefully

Posted in Holidays, spirituality, Wellness on 09/27/2011 09:33 pm by Jim Sharon

About a month ago my wife, Ruth fell hard (while running with our dog)—and despite considerable knee swelling and pain, she has responded gracefully. Ruth’s attitude has been “that’s what God gave me for now, so I’ll be with it and use my healing time well.” During the month, she has valued her quiet time and the opportunity to complete her family yoga book. Once again, Ruth has proven a good model for others and for myself about accepting what is and going with the flow.

The season of Fall typically brings with it several major Jewish holidays (sometimes a couple of those begin in late summer), which my family and I observe annually. The most significant of those holidays is Rosh Hashanah, the beginning of the Jewish New Year, and Yom Kippur, the most solemn day of the year. These holidays afford an opportunity for strong introspection or self-reflection, as well as a focus on atonement. Diligent attunement requires a “fall” from ego: a humbling, self-effacing process.

My psychological and mystical training, along with my natural mindset and “heart-set,” has given me extensive preparation for not only the intensity of these holidays, but for frequent self-scrutiny throughout each year. However, the grit work of facing the “shadow” side of myself is rarely a pleasant task. Because it is usually uncomfortable and elicits aspects of myself that are challenging to acknowledge, I sometimes resist or avoid the task. Yet, I know that developing or evolving myself and hence being a more loving and serving person does not come by grace alone.

Ultimately, I am always willing to uncover the dark places within me and at least come to terms with my ego. Stripping off all of our veneer is always a (very) gradual process, and over the years I have learned to be patient and gentle with my process–and less ponderous about it.

It is most helpful to remember that the “gold mine” of our true essence lies beyond our personalities and roles, and is attainable through gracefully letting go of these identity-attachments over time. It is also very helpful to seek credible, safe guides along the way.

-Jim

 

Highlights of Whole Man Expo

Posted in Whole Man Expo on 09/19/2011 03:19 pm by Jim Sharon

One of my main purposes for founding Whole Man Expo was to bring together men who have been conscientiously developing themselves in various areas for many years. I felt that such a gathering would create a lot of momentum for dignifying men and for both educating and supporting guys struggling to comprehend our society’s numerous re-definitions of mature masculinity and ideal manhood.

Whole Man Expo, presented by Energy for Life Saturday, September 10th at the Sheraton DTC Hotel in Greenwood Village, proved a great success in every respect other than low mainstream attendance (for which we need to be patient). Some of the highly favorable characteristics of the event were:

  • Authentic, open dialogue amongst presenters, panelists and attendees
  • A vast amount of warm-hearted, mutual respect and support amongst the participating men and women
  • Sharing positive vision about men’s potential and possibilities
  • Delight in activities such as spiritual circle dancing and energy balancing via attunement to sounding bowls
  • An energetic comedian’s good-natured, witty jokes about male trends
  • Over 90% of the presentation ratings in the very good or excellent range

Many friends who hadn’t seen one another for long periods were reunited and a number of strong new connections were forged. Love and strong caring supplanted academics and preaching at this event.

Another highpoint of the day occurred during the closing ceremony, when Captain Coy Theobalt very humbly accepted the honor of Whole Man of the Year in the Front Range, which was bestowed on him by an independent selection committee.

My spirits were further elevated by a number of enthusiastic men and women offering to become involved in planning and promoting Whole Man Expo next year. We learned a lot in this inaugural event that we will carry forth toward enriching our second annual event. View more event photos!

Thank you to the sponsors who supported the Expo!

-Jim

 

A Very Upbeat Day

Posted in Whole Man Expo on 08/29/2011 11:09 pm by Jim Sharon

It gives me immense pleasure to invite you, your families, friends and colleagues to attend Whole Man Expo Saturday, September 10, 2011, 8:30 a.m. – 5:30 p.m. at the Sheraton Denver Tech Center Hotel, 7007 S. Clinton Street, Greenwood Village, CO. Adults and teens of both genders are encouraged to attend this very informative and festive event that will honor and celebrate men striving for life balance.

Men and women professional speakers and panelists who have attained a high level of self-development and personal achievements will share their knowledge and experiences regarding societal influences that impact contemporary men. The Expo will also include experiential activities and entertainment. View our complete program.

Exhibitors representing nearly forty businesses and organizations will be displaying their quality services and products at this event. During the closing ceremonies, five previously selected men will be honored as Whole Man of the Year candidates, with one of them receiving the top honor.

In addition to having a great time together, we are dedicated to making a marked difference toward evolving male consciousness. Come participate with us as we activate our clear intention.

SAVE $2/person by registering online today for this not-to-be missed dynamic Whole Man Expo!

-Jim Sharon, Ed.D.
Founder/Coordinator of Whole Man Expo

 

From a Wife’s Perspective

Posted in Men's Anthology Book, Whole Man Expo on 08/15/2011 03:43 am by Ruth Sharon

This has been such a very exciting summer for us! Hope you are enjoying the end of this season and savoring the last bits of warm-weather pleasure.

I remember the conversation with Jim when “we” (who really knows who said it first?) came up with the idea of his men’s anthology. What a rush of energy! A big YES! resounded in us. We knew that compiling men’s stories resonated with Jim’s dedication to serving men in their development towards wholeness. Men daring to be transparent, vulnerable, real and triumphant serves everyone!

Last summer, I loved being a contributing author to “Speaking Your Truth; Courageous Stories from Inspiring Women,” compiled by Lisa Shultz and Andrea Costantine last year. Jim witnessed my participation as very fulfilling and life-giving. I experienced a sense of freedom to tell my intimate and powerful story. I hope and pray all the contributing authors to Jim’s book, “Ordinary Men, Extraordinary Lives: Defining Moments” have been enriched personally and will touch thousands (millions?) with their stories.

As the men’s anthology book is now ready for print and the Whole Man Expo is set for Saturday, September 10, 2011, I see new aspects of my husband emerging. He has taken on more than I ever recall, in the 41 years we have been married. Maybe his doctoral program and dissertation is a close second. To master the amount of details, contacts, writing, editing, organizing, planning, coordinating, etc. has stretched Jim. I have witnessed his being empowered to “honor men striving for balance and the women who support them.” The cause came to far outweigh the personal. Late nights, early mornings, endless lists, overwhelming tasks and magical moments have ignited the diamond fire that is polishing Jim’s character and revealing his brilliance. The profound passion I see in his eyes thrills me. I am so proud of his dedication and steadfastness.

Profoundly realizing what has gone into the process of “birthing” the book, I am proudly and humbly holding “the baby” in my hands., reviewing the copy before it goes to press. The Whole Man Expo, less than a month away, will be a splendid launch for the book and a day well spent with people engaged in wholeness. I am really honored to facilitate a women’s panel to explore the question “What do conscious women want from men?” Come join us!

A deep sigh of relief, gratitude and contentment.. …to know that my husband is fulfilling his calling. This is the beginning of a new journey–and I am holding my honey’s hand, as we travel together.

Get your tickets to the Expo today!

Be well,

Ruth

 

An Integral Part of Wholeness

Posted in spirituality on 08/01/2011 01:03 am by Jim Sharon

With Whole Man Expo now around the corner, I want to highlight a dimension of wholeness that I consider central—the hub of the wheel: spirituality. For me, the crux of spirituality is the sincere awe that one develops in his heart for the glory and magnificence of a Higher Power, however he idealizes that Force. That awe naturally leads to a steady longing for greater connection with the Source, and a deeper understanding of the mystery of life. Morality or ethics best stems from following the golden rule and from inner development, rather than from mere compliance to dogmatic principles.

As one deepens his spiritual attunement, s/he comes into a direct realization of our ultimate interconnection—a growing sense of universal oneness or unity. As this realization slowly ripens and becomes “cellular,” one’s ego gradually erodes.

I wish to share a beautiful recent post by Taj Inayat, spiritual guide and Vice President of the Sufi Order International, of which I am a member:

The poet Omar Khayyam writes, “Heaven is a vision of fulfilled desire, hell the shadow of a soul on fire.”

There is a saying, “Die before death,” which means that we do not have to wait until the breath is gone to experience heaven. It can be realized on earth when we discover a mode of being that is expressive of love, harmony and beauty.

The incessant demands of life, the overload of information and the bombardment of our senses call us continually outward to the surface of existence, toward the visible and away from the interiority of life. It is in this “within” space that heaven can be found.

As I do a lot of psychospiritual counseling, I’d like to offer one of my favorite sayings, by the renowned psychologist Carl Rogers: “Our deepest, darkest secrets are those that are most universal.”

All of this is best “stood under” and gradually assimilated in the core of one’s body, (heart and guts), rather than trying to mentally grasp the full meaning of these statements.

-Jim Sharon

 
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