Energy For Life

Learning from loss is powerful heart medicine. Our precious Daphnie dog passed from this life last Sunday after the vet diagnosed her with spleen cancer the prior Tuesday. We had little time to prepare.

When she passed away, we took her to our vet. One of the lovely vet techs made a clay impression of her back paw for us to take home to bake. When I took it out of the oven, the pad looked like a heart. Her presence in my life surely has left a paw print on my heart.

We put this paw print, her collar, a scarf she liked to wear, her ashes, family photos with her and some candles on a table for a “shrine to love.” When our younger daughter comes home from LA at the end of this month for our book launch party, we will have a memorial service.

Daphnie was a dear friend who is missed greatly, not only by our family, but also the myriad of people who came to our house for business and socializing. She was our trusted “receptionist” for counseling and coaching clients, and a warm greeter for those coming to parties and meetings. The house feels so empty without her.

I never knew the unconditional love of a pet before and that grieving could be so very painful. Jim and I kept instinctively saying or doing routine things to our absent dog for the first week—like asking her to take her daily walk or eat or have a treat or play with something or go outside or…. The rituals were so ingrained after 11 years of her living with us. This week, the impulse is gone and only her loving Spirit remains in our hearts. The crying comes in waves, like an old friend coming to visit then leaving. Softening the heart with vulnerable feelings of loss also serves to awaken in me the humility and gratitude for all that this life means to me. What a gift!

Jim and I now feel the compelling need to create and allow new routines from morning to night that do not include Daphnie dog. Our morning prayers last longer without the interruption of letting her outside. Our dinners can be candlelit and slower; yoga in the living room without being licked in the face allows me to go deeper; spontaneous play and lovemaking can be anywhere in the house! Going out for a whole day without having to come back to feed and walk her gives us a new freedom. So our “empty nest” allows for more couple and private time, which is a real blessing.

Namaste,
Ruth

I awakened this morning with the memory of sitting on the front step of our new house when I was four years old. The morning summer sun shone on my face and I was in bliss. My mother came out looking for me and asked me what I was doing. I replied, “I love everyone, even those I never met.” Mom responded, “How sweet” and went inside. I sat there beaming rays of love into each house in my new neighborhood, feeling connected and in love with All.

I strive to blend this childlike innocence with the mature wisdom of my aging years. Love is the great connector, the transmitter, the bond, the healer that supersedes all. Love powers The Universe, giving meaning, purpose and direction to what we are/do/have.

Believe in God with childlike faith; for simplicity with intelligence is the sign of the Holy Ones.

-Hazrat Inayat Khan

As spring approaches, I feeling the stirring in my heart to be more authentic about sharing Love. My love for Jim has endured many ups and downs in our four decades of marriage. I cannot describe the intensity of my love for my husband, children, their partners and my granddaughter, Hannah. I never knew I could love a dog as much as I love Daphnie. My love radiates to other family and friends, extending to my community and beyond to the world at large.

When I counsel, coach, teach, train, guide, befriend, or network with people, I know Love is the tonic, the “energy for life” that enriches all my relationships. I continually open my heart to the loving wisdom of my mentors, teachers and guides, as well as teachings through books, CDs, DVDs, online webinars, seminars, etc.

When the grown-up person is made ready, when he has acquired the attributes of the child, then he creates heaven within himself, he understands. The child with his innocence does not understand, but when a person with understanding develops the childlike loving tendency, the purity of heart of the child with the desire to be friendly to all — that is the opening of the heart, and it is by that blessing that he can receive all the privileges of human life…

… truth is simple. The more simple you are and the more you seek for simplicity, the nearer you come to truth.

-Hazrat Inayat Khan

With simple love,

Ruth Sharon

Being sick in bed these past 3 days has been so instructive. I am usually very skilled at fending off sickness, but through a series of experiences, this “bug” bit hard. As I lost energy, ached in my muscles, burned with fever and filled with congestion in my head and chest, I knew I better “check in” with myself. A survey of my inner worlds showed a medley of feelings and “undigested” experiences. A visit to my new acupuncturist, Linda Machol of Harmony Acupuncture, has helped speed my process significantly.

I highly recommend using our symptoms as great teachers or guides to the deeper layers that are hidden from our conscious busy mind. In my case, the first symptom that called my attention was the constriction in my chest. As I explored inside (like a spelunker with a flashlight on my forehead), I attuned to my precious 90-year old mother, who lives in Pennsylvania. The tightness in my heart softened as I cried late one night, feeling the rush of love warming my whole being. How I miss her!! I called her today and we shared our wonderfully caring connection.

As I explore more symptoms, I reveal current and past concerns, issues and decisions. What a relief to take the time to clear out the emotions, congestion and burden on my system. Being alone is a gift. Silence is a great teacher. Breathing is a great friend. Love is the healer of all.

Now after 3 days of resting, reading, writing, praying, listening, meditating and sleeping lots, I am feeling better. Opening my emails now, I learn that my long-lost dear friend, Regina Sara Ryan, is coming to Denver soon for a presentation and workshop on her new book, “Igniting the Inner Life.” What perfect timing!

Life is miraculous and filled with great teachers everywhere. May we be good students!

In Peace,

Ruth

When I first met this remarkable woman 32 years ago she was 53 going on 40. I was initially struck by two prominent qualities: Millie’s exceptional kindness and salient radiance. Our relationship evolved after Millie’s grandson married my oldest daughter 24 years later. Millie soon became somewhat of a second mother to my wife and me, as well as a paragon of living life with zest. I also learned a lot about her from her large Denver family.

A former runner up to Ms. Philadelphia, Millie not only magnetized men with her ravaging beauty, but also with her prominent life energy, natural charm and quick wit. As a young adult, Millie was a nightclub singer and an actress in local plays. One particular incident aptly portrayed her courageous spunk: she continued singing after a man in the audience set her dress aflame by flinging a lit cigarette at her. Even as a frail woman with cancer in her 80’s, Millie still performed in plays. She also wrote a variety of poems and often displayed later-life paintings in art exhibits and stores.

Besides her devotion as a very warm, nurturing and generous mother, grandmother and great grandmother, Millie emanated intentionality and persistence in all that she did. She actively participated in Temple Emanuel (Denver) functions her entire adult life. Although quite sick with cancer, Millie danced triumphantly in the Temple Emanuel aisles, in keeping with a common expression about “dancing in the aisles.” Before her double mastectomy, she wrote a hilarious, upbeat poem, “Ode to Breasts or Farewell to Boobs,” designed to give perspective and encouragement to afflicted women. At Millie’s insistence, Rabbi Foster read that bawdy, yet cogent poem at her June 7th, 2010 funeral. Those who eulogized Millie at her funeral echoed the virtues of this splendid woman that I depicted in this blog.

Millie at her 85th birthday party, with my granddaughter, Hannah who shared the same birthday.

At 85, Millie died the way she lived. While maintaining genuine cheer with the many who visited her, Millie tenaciously battled her metastasizing disease. She upheld her spirit even as her breath was being steadily squeezed out of her cancer-ridden lungs. Family and friends could not help but receive Millie’s core message: keep “dancing” until the very end. Per her request, and most apropos to her character, Millie was buried in a colorful flowered dress.

Millie, bless your soul as you blessed thousands of people with your countenance and lessons.

-Jim Sharon