Energy For Life

On April 6, I will begin observing the eight-day Jewish holiday of Passover, as I do annually, along with my family. Just thinking about writing this blog has jump-started my introspective process.

Central to the many dietary restrictions during Passover is eating cracker-like, unleavened matzah, in lieu of bread. Besides its traditional meaning in the Passover story, the matzah symbolizes “flattening” or effacing one’s ego. So, in addition to Jews celebrating the theme of freedom during this holiday, we have the opportunity to humble ourselves before God and in our daily attitudes and behavior.

I admit that my initial, very cursory view of the state of my ego was that I have thinned it a lot over the years. Indeed I have, yet the ego is a tricky monster, and upon further scrutiny, I quickly realized various ways in which that oversized three-letter word remains active. One of those ways pertains to many of my blog, Twitter and Facebook posts. I became aware that I have a tendency to write ostentatiously at times, being more concerned about appearing skillful as a writer than making my points simply and/or speaking from my heart. Furthermore, rather than merely expressing my feelings, beliefs and reactions, I know that I have excessively challenged others’ statements or positions. I now have the intention to directly and heartfully speak “my peace” and to be vigilant of even subtle forms of confrontation or “dissing,” except when I feel quite strongly that I am serving by relating my disagreement.

I don’t feel the need to do full penance or confession in this post. Suffice it to say that I have always valued self-examination in the name of ongoing efforts at improvement. Some self-disclosure and limited self-deprecation is often in order, too. (I wrote my doctoral dissertation on the pros and cons of therapist self-disclosure).

The last day of Passover, I have scheduled a retreat day, during which I will receive a number of practices from my spiritual guide designed to put the “finishing touches” on my week of introspection. I feel good joining many fellow Jews during their Passover week of self-evaluation, as well as Christians who will be doing the same during their much longer period of Lent observance.

-Jim

About a month ago my wife, Ruth fell hard (while running with our dog)—and despite considerable knee swelling and pain, she has responded gracefully. Ruth’s attitude has been “that’s what God gave me for now, so I’ll be with it and use my healing time well.” During the month, she has valued her quiet time and the opportunity to complete her family yoga book. Once again, Ruth has proven a good model for others and for myself about accepting what is and going with the flow.

The season of Fall typically brings with it several major Jewish holidays (sometimes a couple of those begin in late summer), which my family and I observe annually. The most significant of those holidays is Rosh Hashanah, the beginning of the Jewish New Year, and Yom Kippur, the most solemn day of the year. These holidays afford an opportunity for strong introspection or self-reflection, as well as a focus on atonement. Diligent attunement requires a “fall” from ego: a humbling, self-effacing process.

My psychological and mystical training, along with my natural mindset and “heart-set,” has given me extensive preparation for not only the intensity of these holidays, but for frequent self-scrutiny throughout each year. However, the grit work of facing the “shadow” side of myself is rarely a pleasant task. Because it is usually uncomfortable and elicits aspects of myself that are challenging to acknowledge, I sometimes resist or avoid the task. Yet, I know that developing or evolving myself and hence being a more loving and serving person does not come by grace alone.

Ultimately, I am always willing to uncover the dark places within me and at least come to terms with my ego. Stripping off all of our veneer is always a (very) gradual process, and over the years I have learned to be patient and gentle with my process–and less ponderous about it.

It is most helpful to remember that the “gold mine” of our true essence lies beyond our personalities and roles, and is attainable through gracefully letting go of these identity-attachments over time. It is also very helpful to seek credible, safe guides along the way.

-Jim

Have you set your intentions for the new year yet? Here are some useful tips to do so:

1. Brainstorm a continuous list of all you want this year—keep the list going for a few days. Include your partner/family/workmates with the areas that concern them.

2. Narrow down to categories (health/fitness, organization at home/work, finances, relationships, being of service, parenting, etc)

3. Put each topic at the top of its own page and describe what this area of life will be like by the end of 2011. Use daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly milestones to keep you on track. Just small steps in the direction of your goals create the “slight edge” of success.

4. Use SMART technique to clarify what you are creating (and be open to something even better!)

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Time-frame, by when

4. Speak it into the present tense, describe what you see, hear, feel, smell, taste, have, etc.

I am…..
I see….
I feel….
I know….
I have…..

5. Place your writing where you can review it regularly, e.g. by your bed to review once a week. Monitor your actions that create what you want. What beliefs may get in your way?
Self-talk: you can “eavesdrop” into your thinking to notice what you are telling yourself about your abilities, esteem, worthiness, etc. Are you ready to receive the results you desire? Does the attaining of these goals serve you for your highest good?

6. Read books, counsel with a coach, pray/meditate, join a support or networking group to help strengthen your intentions and fulfillment for 2011.

SIMPLIFY: write your priorities on a 3×5 card; carry everywhere; read 3-5 times a day!!

Become all you can be this year!!

BE WELL!!

Please share your comments below!

As the holiday season approaches, we’d like to offer some simple tips to strengthen your body, mind, and spirit during what is often a stressful time:

1. Take time each day for quiet time: walk, read, meditate, pray, do yoga, write, draw, do handicrafts, rest, etc. Replenish, recharge, restore!

2. Keep your blood sugar level to avoid mood swings and vulnerability to viruses or flu bugs. Eat really healthy foods as a gift to yourself! Balance holiday treats with lean protein, nuts, veggies, and whole grains. Drink lots of water.

3. Thank people for the little things that make your day enjoyable and productive—a kind word, a short note, a smile, or a personal moment goes a long way to help us feel connected and grateful. (Remember store clerks, mail carriers, child care workers, family members, friends, teachers, clergy, business associates, etc.)

4. Keep your energy moving with enjoyable exercise: walk, run, swim, dance, use cardio and weight machines, go to a class to stretch, strengthen, or balance, play basketball, volleyball, or hockey.

5. Practice meditation, deep breathing, visualizations, and relaxation training to reduce stress and experience inner peace.

6. Pray, give thanks, help others, be of service, connect spiritually locally and globally, and build community with family, friends and strangers.

7. Know what triggers your holiday difficulties. Do you experience anxiety, stress, depression, S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder), “holiday blues,” irritability, or anger? Seek counsel from a trusted friend or professional to pre-plan how to deal with your triggers so you minimize your reaction. A concrete plan of action helps!

8. Stimulate the season’s joys with meaningful rituals, surprises, reunions, learning something new, traveling somewhere new (near or far), clearing out clutter, reclaiming a space in your home or office, or setting up a sacred space for solace.

9. Clear out the old, make room for the new. Refresh your Spirit! Share Love and Light!

Do you have other tips of things that have worked well for you to keep your holidays sane? Please share them by leaving a comment!

-Jim and Ruth Sharon

Each year around this time, during the Hebrew month of Elul, I have availed myself of the tradition to begin turning inward in preparation for the Jewish “high” (major) holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur that follow Elul. For most of my adulthood I have carved out this opportunity to take inventory of my core values, attitudes and judgments, as well as examine behaviors I need or desire to modify. This rigorous period of self-inquiry has been intensified the past few years by the concurrence of the Muslim fasting month of Ramadan. As a Sufi (Islamic and universal mystic), I immersed myself for eight years in the “great heat” of Ramadan, along with a spiritual community that fully observes the practices. Although I have not formally engaged in Ramadan practices for nearly a decade, my strong recollections of, and reverence for, that month of observances remain.

Every year, without exception, I experience being internally strengthened and cleansed and my character developed through my intentional soul-searching process. Also, I acquire a lot of perspective and profound joy, so I truly celebrate this intensive period.

I supplement these annual occasions of taking spiritual and psychological stock in myself via periodic retreats, usually guided ones. I highly recommend designating sustained time to “dive deep” and realize the potentially awesome power and benefits of extended introspection.

A few times a year, my wife Ruth and I provide an elegant structure for such self-exploration and growth. We are offering a guided weekend retreat in Steamboat Springs this October and invite you to join us!