Energy For Life

Watching multiple, staggering images of the epic tsunami and earthquake that recently rocked Japan, I couldn’t recall ever witnessing such natural devastation. Like most of us, I was deeply shaken by the impact of the crisis on a country that was well-prepared to deal with natural disasters. Despite my immense compassion for the immeasurable suffering and for the ripple effect throughout the world, I soon began reflecting on some vital lessons and reminders I believe we receive from crises of even lesser magnitude than this one.

As the platitude goes, “Man plans and God laughs.” A profound paradox is that humans are arguably the most amazing and blessed of all earthly creatures, yet we represent less than a grain of sand in the universe. Even the lives of the rare centenarians amongst us are less than a flicker in the scheme of eternity.

Our individual and collective egos drive us to readily become “full” of ourselves. Globally, we have greatly abused our sanctified role as stewards of the earth through our greed, thirst for power, and desire to control (often trying to control nature, itself). More than occasionally, nature (or for me, G-d) shows us “who’s boss!” We can’t help but be humbled in the wave or aftermath of so-called tragedies. However, soon after the shock wears off, how often do we resume our various inflated ways of living?

Furthermore, during our era of widespread belief that we control our own reality through our thinking and visioning, I find that we frequently downplay our true limitations. After all,no matter how big, strong, smart or wealthy we are (or think we are), somebody, somewhere is always more so. I’m not by any means suggesting that we suspend positive thinking or dreaming, but rather, that we maintain a clear perspective about the existence of forces beyond us, by whatever name we call them.

Thus, in the midst of our continual efforts toward numerous forms of advancement, G-d, or one of G-d’s “agents,” e.g. some aspect of “nature,” periodically comes along and delivers a harsh or severe wallop. In response, at the very least, we collectively rally and become united for awhile. For me, the overarching question for each of us becomes, “How big a serving of ‘humble pie’ will you eat—and will you savor the ‘pie’?” A “close cousin” of sincere humility is deep gratitude.

-Jim Sharon

As always, the January 8th Tucson shootings were met with great public outcries and outrage. Media coverage, speeches and large audiences flourished throughout the country. Then, in short order we went on with our lives, burying much of our pain and underlying concerns almost as quickly as those killed were laid to rest. I remain deeply disturbed by the violence that permeates our society. Therefore, I want to resurrect some of the issues frequently raised and add a few other perspectives, followed by a call to action.

On an individual level, a lot of attention is rightly devoted to the profile of shooters: males who are relatively isolated, lonely, quietly depressed and sullen, etc. These characteristics provide subtle, yet vital warnings about potential danger. When coupled with blatant signs, such as possession of weapons and open expression of hatred and violent thoughts/intentions, these cues need to be very seriously heeded by those acquainted with the troubled guy. The closer or more significant the relationship with that person, the more crucial it is to seek some measure of mental health support for that individual. As a psychologist, I am only too familiar with the hazards of ignoring, disregarding or minimizing the warning signs presented!

Violence in our culture is not only tolerated by the masses, but, in my observation, is increasingly sanctioned and often glorified. Hollywood and TV producers perennially crank out a plethora of flagrantly violent shows, supplemented in recent years by violent video games and Internet aggression. As a nation, we have become conditioned and calloused to the quick  kills and fiery explosions. Through our rampant participation in these forms of “entertainment,” we actively endorse highly aggressive or violent expression.

Similarly, in the midst of the technology craze, I have witnessed our society becoming more and more impersonal over the past decade. Our obsession with emailing, texting, multiple forms of social media, smart-phones, etc. have replaced a lot of face-to-face connection.  The result is a seemingly more detached, faster-paced and less intimate society by the year!

Today (January 17th), I received an email from Rabbi Michael Lerner, director of the international Tikkun organization that is dedicated to global healing and transformation. Rabbi Lerner attributes much of the mounting national violence to widespread depersonalization and exploitation. He notes the growing trend toward gauging people’s value by the extent to which they can serve one’s personal or business agenda. Tikkun is supporting various platforms to redirect the “bottom line” in public policy toward genuine caring, kindness and generosity.

I strongly encourage each of us to take inventory as to how we can become more personal, compassionate and available in our daily interactions, then gradually put those changes into effect. We also need to be more attentive to and supportive of those around us, especially family members and friends, who are notably distressed.

Several simple suggestions:

• Smile and offer a few friendly remarks to a stranger or acquaintance who appears despondent.
• Gently tell a person whom you are close to that you sense he/she is upset and make yourself available to listen before providing any advice (often advice isn’t even welcome or necessary). Reflect the feelings and needs you perceive from that person.
• When you anticipate an impending crisis, encourage the person to “get some support or guidance” from a mental health professional. Perhaps offer to accompany him/her to an appointment.
• At least periodically volunteer for a service project.
• Arrange time for a sustained, meaningful face-to-face conversation with a friend or family member.
• Practice an appropriate level of genuine self-disclosure (depending on the nature of your relationship).

Let’s truly work toward shrinking the expanding gap between IQ and EQ (emotional quotient).

Jim Sharon, Ed.D.