Energy For Life

I have been reflecting on my life a lot lately. As my daughter, Alyssa, and granddaughter, Hannah, and I finish our book “Be Your Best Self: Yoga for Families,” I realize a new chapter in my life is beginning. I am open to how I can serve you, your family and your community. I will be on a day’s retreat in early March to gain clarity and focus. I know I am being called to a greater arena of influence. I long to amplify passing on my legacy of what I have been learning in my 63 years of life. I invite you to look for the ways that you are passing on your legacy to your family, friends, workplace, community and the world. Here are a few snapshots of my reflections.

Last Sunday I met with Casey Feicht and other teachers of yoga for children and families. I am thrilled we can meet monthly and collaborate with each other on projects to touch our community and beyond through our internet presence. What a ground swell of passing yoga to our next generations! I am honored to be sharing yoga’s ancient wisdom for health, vitality and family closeness.

On Saturday night, Jim and I attended a Be Men event with founder Brett Zachman and facilitator Michelle Fox, with a lively group of divorced and married people. We discovered and discussed our Love Languages (from Gary Chapman’s book). How lovely to look across the room at my beloved Jim and to share some of our “secrets of a soulful relationship” with terrific people longing to love and to be loved. How grateful I am to pass on our legacy!

Last week we had the pleasure of reuniting with our dear friends Regina and Jere, from our 1970’s Greeley days through the 1990’s in Denver. Since they have moved to Arizona, it’s been 15 or more years since we have been together. What a touching heart-filling moment to sit at dinner with our daughter, Alaina, and her family, whom Jere and Regina have known her whole life, having lived with us when she was 7, and here is granddaughter Hannah at almost 7! What a lovely legacy to the next generations that true friendships make time dissolve! See Jim’s blog post about his experience, too.

During my whole adult life, I have been a student and teacher of wellness, yoga and meditation, healthy relationships, peaceful conflict resolution, spiritual practices from many disciplines, human rights and nature conservancy. I hope my progeny and those whom I touch continue on the path of fulfilling the soul’s purpose. This gives my life meaning.

Please write comments here or send me an email about your evolving legacy. What motivates you? What do you pass on to your family? I would love to learn from you!

Be true to yourself.

With warmth and gratitude,

Ruth

Happy 2012!!

As we enter this auspicious new year, I am remembering the famous quotes: “Be the change you want to see in the world,” and “Let there be peace in the world, and let it begin with me.” My intention for 2012 is to make my own personal changes (just met with a fitness coach, for example!), align with my best self and serve as a hopeful example for others. What changes do you want to see in the world and what peace/piece of this do you want to take responsibility and ownership of this year?? We are all called to something….what’s your deep desire??

Check out this inspiring ten-minute video: “Change for a Dollar”!

Please feel free to let me know your intentions for change in 2012, by email, phone (303-796-7004), in person, or in the comment section.

As predicted, this is time of great polarization and upheaval. Many of my clients, students, neighbors and extended family feel the societal downward pull into fear, fatigue, anxiety, depression, resignation, misbehavior, dishonesty, deception, illness, instability and terror. The younger generations seem so confused about what life is really about and how they can make a difference. They long for models and guidance. I call on myself daily to raise my own awareness/wakefulness, to choose my thoughts, words and actions with utmost care, and be present to participate fully in each moment. How can we serve as models for our young people and our peers? Let’s rise to the challenge!

“Be Your Best Self: Yoga for Families” is my new book, soon to be released, that I wrote with my daughter and granddaughter, as a contribution to serve the next generations. We offer some practical, healthy ways to take care of ourselves and build family closeness.

This book title reflects my spiritual longing. How can I awaken to who my “best self” is and energize the ability to manifest what is best in any moment?? Many of us are calling on ourselves to be/ do the same. The five chapters of the book share yoga practices and other methods to be flowing, be flexible, be strong, be balanced and be calm.

Hopefully, we can move through 2012 as the change we want to see and make peace with ourselves and with those in our sphere of influence.

Be well,
Ruth Sharon

Learning from loss is powerful heart medicine. Our precious Daphnie dog passed from this life last Sunday after the vet diagnosed her with spleen cancer the prior Tuesday. We had little time to prepare.

When she passed away, we took her to our vet. One of the lovely vet techs made a clay impression of her back paw for us to take home to bake. When I took it out of the oven, the pad looked like a heart. Her presence in my life surely has left a paw print on my heart.

We put this paw print, her collar, a scarf she liked to wear, her ashes, family photos with her and some candles on a table for a “shrine to love.” When our younger daughter comes home from LA at the end of this month for our book launch party, we will have a memorial service.

Daphnie was a dear friend who is missed greatly, not only by our family, but also the myriad of people who came to our house for business and socializing. She was our trusted “receptionist” for counseling and coaching clients, and a warm greeter for those coming to parties and meetings. The house feels so empty without her.

I never knew the unconditional love of a pet before and that grieving could be so very painful. Jim and I kept instinctively saying or doing routine things to our absent dog for the first week—like asking her to take her daily walk or eat or have a treat or play with something or go outside or…. The rituals were so ingrained after 11 years of her living with us. This week, the impulse is gone and only her loving Spirit remains in our hearts. The crying comes in waves, like an old friend coming to visit then leaving. Softening the heart with vulnerable feelings of loss also serves to awaken in me the humility and gratitude for all that this life means to me. What a gift!

Jim and I now feel the compelling need to create and allow new routines from morning to night that do not include Daphnie dog. Our morning prayers last longer without the interruption of letting her outside. Our dinners can be candlelit and slower; yoga in the living room without being licked in the face allows me to go deeper; spontaneous play and lovemaking can be anywhere in the house! Going out for a whole day without having to come back to feed and walk her gives us a new freedom. So our “empty nest” allows for more couple and private time, which is a real blessing.

Namaste,
Ruth

At times I have succumbed to the stress of many moderate-to-large, seemingly “extra” expenses Ruth and I have incurred since the start of the new year. During times like these, when I feel like I’ve been “knocked down by a tidal wave,” I call on a good friend, namely, “perspective.”

One inner voice I’ve heard lately is “we always land on our feet.” Indeed, some combination of intentionality, focused effort and grace has repeatedly served to douse the fires of drama and to right the course.

Good ole synchronicity smiled on me this morning as I contemplated everyday miracles, starting with the miracles of our bodily functions — as basic as the sustenance we continually receive from breath itself. When I mentioned to Ruth that I was calculating the vast number of our heartbeats per year and the miles of blood vessels each of us has inside, she replied in amazement, “I just read that two minutes ago” in the book “The Greatest Miracle” (I have never even picked up that book). Ruth informed me that the numbers were much larger and more staggering than I had figured or could imagine: our hearts beat 36 million times annually and blood passes through 600 miles of veins, arteries and capillaries! Then I began thinking about the global fascination with modern technology. I’m even in sheer awe of “old hat” technology like friction on matches creating fire; water coming out of faucets; switches activating lights; telephone, radio and TV transmissions; jets breaking the sound barrier; etc. My problems and stresses tend to fade in the midst of revisiting such phenomena. And if they don’t dissipate, I reach for various forms of humor (often to the lament of my family and friends).

Surah (chapter) 31, in the Koran contains a verse (“ayat” 27) that poetically expresses the depth of my gratitude as well as anything I’ve ever come across: “If all the trees on earth were pens and the ocean were ink, with seven oceans behind it to add to its supply, yet would not the words of Allah (G-d) be exhausted in the writing.” Simply stated, it is literally impossible to recount all of G-d’s, teachings and wonders/glory. My money concerns are instantly washed away in the infinite and infinitely beautiful “ocean.”

A final realization this morning, as I was “flying with eagle eyes,” compassionately peering down on my “ant-sized” worries: nobody has ever lived more than a split second in the scheme of eternity. Might as well enjoy a banana split while my taste buds are alive.

-Jim Sharon

Transition time is here and I like to make the most of it. I remember reading the classic book “Love is Letting Go of Fear” by Gerald Jampolsky in 1982, as I was becoming aware of my limiting fear-based beliefs. I began yearning for more authentic freedom, joy, purpose, and peace.

In recent decades, I have been “crossing the bridge” from fear to love. What a huge paradigm shift for me personally — as a woman, business owner, guide to others, spiritual aspirant, and member of this ever-changing world.

The power of choice is revealed in books, CDs, downloads, emails, and networks galore. We are bombarded with ways to change our frame of reference from living in fear/feeling separate to living with purpose/knowing our unity. What an exciting time! I invite you to connect to the people, beliefs, and programs that support your development. Let me know how I may serve you!

This Fall, as the foliage is letting go of its fruits, vegetables, berries and leaves, I have the strong urge to let go, too. Having an “empty nest” now has been a strong catalyst. Feel free to take inventory of your shifts too!

Physically: from clutter to simplicity
Cleaning up the yard, canning fruits, harvesting, composting, clearing out closets, giving away stuff that clutters drawers, storage, shelves and garage; losing weight, burning fat, shedding aches and pains through exercise and healthy eating.

Emotionally: from judgment to acceptance
Releasing old styles of relating to Jim, kids, friends, clients, business partners, and students; reducing worries, anxieties, and judgments; feeling more confident, clear, expressive, and compassionate.

Mentally: from limitation to expansive possibilities
Reading books, studying success principles, learning to leverage my income to create additional streams of income; associating with mentors and coaches, thinking differently about my life!

Spiritually: from being right to understanding
Attuning myself to the greater reality, God, to live with love, harmony and beauty; meditating, praying, practicing peacemaking, living with more integrity.

Choice is the key. I am empowered! I am always in process, with moments of forgetting and remembering, but always in the general direction of “crossing the bridge” to love!

-Ruth Sharon

Most folks I know are like me in viewing photo albums: we periodically look or glance through them with some fond memories and quickly resume our activities. Not this time. Last night I poured over hundreds of pictures spanning four decades as I sentimentally assembled a photo album to present to Alyssa, my youngest child, who at age 20 is moving to Los Angeles this week. While emotionally preparing ourselves for weeks, Ruth and I have mainly been celebrating Alyssa’s burst of maturity, clarity, strength and independence. However, last night the vast memories and a plethora of photos of Alyssa’s incredible beauty and expressiveness played my heart like a violin! As I have been anticipating, the emotion and melting has finally hit me.

Lovely Alyssa

Most parents are confronted with the “empty nest” much sooner than we have been, as Alyssa is 13 years younger than our oldest daughter (who was born when I was 30). It is a “mixed bag” to raise children at home for nearly 34 years! Unlike the “walk in the park” with my other two kids, my relationship with Alyssa has often been strained and a mutual struggle. Yet, we are very similar in many ways and I so admire her profound depth and array of artistic talents. While opposites often attract, kindred souls co-existing in a household can clash—we frequently did. Last night, my love and respect for this precious young woman penetrated me like a lightening bolt. Thank you, G-d! Despite our mutual travails, I will often sorely miss Alyssa.

Ironically, I had intended to write this blog about various ways to develop inner guidance, as that is our focus with Energy for Life. Lo and behold, I inadvertently discovered a potent, efficient way to access the recesses of my heart and to gain an awesome perspective of the magnificence of life! Marveling at the Grand Canyon years ago was not nearly as glorious or breathtaking as the vista I was graced to view last night. So, on the verge of Alyssa’s departure, I strongly reclaim my heart.

-Jim Sharon

When I first met this remarkable woman 32 years ago she was 53 going on 40. I was initially struck by two prominent qualities: Millie’s exceptional kindness and salient radiance. Our relationship evolved after Millie’s grandson married my oldest daughter 24 years later. Millie soon became somewhat of a second mother to my wife and me, as well as a paragon of living life with zest. I also learned a lot about her from her large Denver family.

A former runner up to Ms. Philadelphia, Millie not only magnetized men with her ravaging beauty, but also with her prominent life energy, natural charm and quick wit. As a young adult, Millie was a nightclub singer and an actress in local plays. One particular incident aptly portrayed her courageous spunk: she continued singing after a man in the audience set her dress aflame by flinging a lit cigarette at her. Even as a frail woman with cancer in her 80’s, Millie still performed in plays. She also wrote a variety of poems and often displayed later-life paintings in art exhibits and stores.

Besides her devotion as a very warm, nurturing and generous mother, grandmother and great grandmother, Millie emanated intentionality and persistence in all that she did. She actively participated in Temple Emanuel (Denver) functions her entire adult life. Although quite sick with cancer, Millie danced triumphantly in the Temple Emanuel aisles, in keeping with a common expression about “dancing in the aisles.” Before her double mastectomy, she wrote a hilarious, upbeat poem, “Ode to Breasts or Farewell to Boobs,” designed to give perspective and encouragement to afflicted women. At Millie’s insistence, Rabbi Foster read that bawdy, yet cogent poem at her June 7th, 2010 funeral. Those who eulogized Millie at her funeral echoed the virtues of this splendid woman that I depicted in this blog.

Millie at her 85th birthday party, with my granddaughter, Hannah who shared the same birthday.

At 85, Millie died the way she lived. While maintaining genuine cheer with the many who visited her, Millie tenaciously battled her metastasizing disease. She upheld her spirit even as her breath was being steadily squeezed out of her cancer-ridden lungs. Family and friends could not help but receive Millie’s core message: keep “dancing” until the very end. Per her request, and most apropos to her character, Millie was buried in a colorful flowered dress.

Millie, bless your soul as you blessed thousands of people with your countenance and lessons.

-Jim Sharon

It takes a day to fall in love; it takes you years to know what love is.

- Jason Mraz’s song “Life is Wonderful”

My parents’ wedding gift to Ruth and me was a Jamaican honeymoon in June of 1970.  We just returned from our 40-year anniversary celebration in Maui.  These absolutely glorious tropical vacations serve as bookends or markers of our “tropically” warm and radiant marriage.

Ruth and I celebrating our anniversary in Maui

Standing amongst lush flowers overlooking the vast ocean expanse at The Garden of Eden Arboretum on the road to Hana in Maui, Ruth and I renewed our vows and commitments to each other.  With 40 years of history as our witness, those mutual promises flowed like honey.  Each of us was beaming and feeling proud of our accomplishment.  As therapists who have logged well over 30 years of relationship counseling, we know better than most that nobody attains a 40^th wedding anniversary without considerable effort, struggle, patience, perseverance, acceptance, etc.  An apt metaphor just struck me:  we indeed had to ride many turbulent waves through our marriage, just as we did swimming, boating and snorkeling in the two tropical oceans of our marital celebrations.

Despite the numerous challenges and periods of emotional pain, Ruth and I can fervently affirm that the depth of love and joy we have shared over these four decades has easily subsumed the tough times. Parenting three children and a dog (and now being grandparents) has been incredibly beautiful and meaningful. Given the age span of our children, we’ve had at least one child living with us for all but 6.5 years of those 40 married years; so we’re actually ready to experience the proverbial “empty nest” that many couples dread.  What has astounded us is a parallel spiritual journey our entire marriage and working together as business partners in a host of projects since 1976 (85 percent of our marriage).

Probably the prime “spark plug” continually igniting and rekindling our relationship has been the dynamic range in which each of us thrives.   We’ve been plenty wild, yet just as sedate; raucously silly along with deeply philosophical and whimsical.  We’ve been very social and communal, while enjoying plenty of sustained quiet times alone.  The list goes on and on.

The contrast I most celebrate is our ease and joy in each other’s company, yet relishing the many weeks we’ve spent apart on adventures, business trips, family visits, and growth excursions.

My beautiful bride in Maui

Although neither of us believes that marriage is for everyone, our exquisite relationship has been central to our souls’ expression and development in this lifetime.

In love and for love,
Jim Sharon

As many or most of us eagerly await the advent of spring, our bodies and mindsets tend to align with nature’s theme of rebirth.  As days grow warmer and longer and as flowers and trees sprout, we typically become filled with renewed energy and feel the impetus to blossom.  Besides drawing us outdoors, our heightened zest for life creates the desire to seek new opportunities.  As thrilling as this burst of life energy can be, I’m aware of a caveat.

New possibilities or options can be alluring or seductive.  I have been observing in my counseling and coaching practice and in our increasingly “quick-fix, fast food” society, a growing tendency toward impulsive or forced-fit decisions.  This haste, accompanied by minimal discernment, appears especially prominent in the midst of high anxiety and over-eagerness.  I have found that there is often great value in learning to patiently incubate—to let things settle awhile–, which is an integral part of the creative process.  Taking time to prudently “shop, weigh, digest,” etc. seems particularly advisable with job and relationship transitions.   Also, my experience is that I often benefit from re-examining or even unlearning some patterns, e.g. long-held beliefs, habits and emotional reactions, before embracing the next seemingly shining opportunity.

Regarding such exploration, I work monthly with an extremely attuned spiritual guide (as part of my participation in an international spiritual organization) who recently suggested a practice that involves my temporarily suspending all of my spiritual ideas and theories.  This “emptying’ process strikes me as a very healthy form of “spring cleaning,” inviting a large, healthy dose of innocence and receptivity into my life. By regularly performing the recommended practice, I essentially gift myself with viewing the world afresh:  with an innocent heart and a “new set of eyes.”  As a long-time mystical practitioner, it is especially “wild” and actually refreshing to take an extended break from thinking of myself as spiritually sophisticated and to just get “raw” with daily life again. Although I’ve never been dogmatic, I’m once again appreciating the simplicity and richness of savoring in vivo experiences in lieu of prayer or conceptualizations for awhile.

“In our quest to live life fully and deeply we are engaged in understanding what it means to see with eyes of innocence, what it means to see anew in each moment.  Our eyes of innocence  are opened through the sensitivity and loving attention we bring to the moment we find ourselves in.” … “We might reflect on what religious or spiritual ideas we may be holding on to that keep us from seeing what is true, that keep us from seeing directly our authentic path, guides and teachers.”
- Jack Kornfield and Christina Feldman, Soul Food

Care to join me in an encounter with “dumb” (innocent) presence and “smart” patience?

Blessings,

Jim Sharon

I hope everyone is getting as excited for our retreat as we are. It will be a great opportunity to start off the new decade on the right track without your past holding your back. Here is a little teaser about what to expect: