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Our 45-Year Marriage

In early June, my beloved Ruth and I will celebrate our 45th wedding anniversary!


For many years, a lot of people have admired our relationship and wondered how we have made our long marriage work.

On this joyous occasion, I’d like to briefly address that curiosity.

In a nutshell, each of us has always been willing to work at/on our marriage, while mixing in various ingredients to enliven us personally and as a couple. Over the decades, we’ve refined our ability to balance dealing with challenges and conflicts along with nurturing one another and being light and playful. Our temperaments and therapist careers are well-suited to introspection and emotional exchange—key elements for sustaining an intimate relationship. We’ve shared the gamut of feelings together—most of those many times over. In the process, we’ve learned to be much less dramatic and less intense than we acted in our 20’s and 30’s. However, along our journey we’ve considered divorce a few times. We still periodically succumb to life stresses, requiring us to do quick “cleanup on aisle five” to avoid devolving further. Fortunately, we’ve become increasingly effective at doing so.

As ground-floor participants in the holistic health and peace movements, we co-directed a wellness center in the 1970’s and provided training in peaceful conflict resolution in the 80’s and 90’s. Ruth and I have prided ourselves in consistent attention to self-care on all levels. Our synergistic efforts have been foundational to well-being as a couple. Intensive involvement in spiritual communities, spanning over three decades, has been a hallmark. Mystical study, practices, participation in community projects, and taking leadership roles have served to center and energize us, and to efface our egos. Placing a premium on spirituality has given us enormous perspective about our lives and life, in general.

Raising three children, two of them born during our early 40’s, has been both a profound joy, and more than occasionally, a source of dissension between us and our kids. Although our oft-differing parenting styles at times created some strong family conflict, our beautiful children have blossomed as adults, each partnered with their beloved. We feel most privileged that all of our children live in proximity and to be able to regularly see and provide care for our two granddaughters, as well.

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Ruth and I have been amazed by how well we have worked together in many professional capacities for almost 90% of our marriage. Next year we will have a big celebration of 40 years in business! Out of the strength of our relationship, we collaborate in supporting others having healthy relationships, through couples counseling and coaching, relationship seminars and couple’s retreats. Last year we happily released our co-authored book, Secrets of a Soulful Marriage: Creating and Sustaining a Loving, Sacred Relationship (SkyLight Paths, 2014).  IMG_1513

Our favorite times are on vacations together, yet a few times each year, we also enjoy/value spending up to a week apart from one another. Have Ruth and I had an idyllic relationship?—sometimes yes, but certainly not consistently. Without false humility, I’d call our overall relationship rich, soulful, dynamic and loving.

How would you describe your relationship? What do you attribute to the success of your love relationship?

Let us know in the comments below or on Facebook.

Celebrating the glory,

Jim Sharon

and Ruth Sharon

Voted the BEST Relationship Coaches!

Coaching for Soulful Couples and Singles

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Jim and Ruth Sharon

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