Open the Pathways to Wellness and Love.

Joy is Here!


Good news! Joy is here, whenever you call on her! Taking time to slow down, relax and enjoy life is a fine art. As you experience more inner joy, you can share this radiance with your partner, family, friends, coworkers.


The soul’s true happiness lies in experiencing the inner joy, and it will never be fully satisfied with outer, seeming pleasures. Its connection is with God, and nothing short of perfection will ever satisfy it.
by Hazrat Inayat Khan

Experiencing joy more often and more consistently takes practice. In order to open new pathways to perceive and trust joy, try these practices. Pick one to focus on for a week or two, or a moon cycle, then add another. Enjoy!

1. Allow yourself to deeply relax through conscious breathing.

Sit or lie comfortably. With each exhale, let go of the hurrying, worrying and busy sensation in your body-mind. Be as present as you can be. Relax your shoulders and jaw, drop into your lower body. Let your belly and chest swell with each in breath. Once you calm your nervous system, think these words: I am…joy, joyful. Attune to the feeling of joy.

Inhale JOY, exhale tension and fear.

Lovely Alyssa

Lovely Alyssa

2. Contemplate what activates your joy. Write or meditate on these questions:

When am I most joyful?

Who am I with when I am experienceing joy?

What or who blocks my joy?

How can I let joy shine through? (Think of the metaphor of the sun shining even when there are dark clouds)

3. Reflect on your beliefs about joy.

Make a mind-map with the word Joy in the center. Draw lines with speech bubbles, free associate to the word Joy. Fill in the speech bubbles freely. Explore the map of your beliefs. Are you allowed to experience joy? Only under certain circumstances? Once you are aware, you can make more conscious choices.

4. Be aware of your body and breathing.

Sit or lie quietly. Scan your body for any tension. Breathe into the stress and exhale to let it all go. This can be anytime, anywhere—in the car at the traffic light, as you prepare to go into a work meeting, on the way to an event, getting dressed for a date. Be aware of body sensations, feelings, emotions. As you contact your inner joy, anchor it in.This is done by touching a place on your body (hands over heart, palm to knee, thumb and forefinger connecting or clasping your hands, etc.) When the feeling of joy is vague or lost, just touch in the way you anchored the feeling, and it will return—with practice and intention.

5. Acknowledge your inner joy as your true home.


Recognize and amplify your home feelings and state of being. List words to describe what home is like (i.e. calm, peaceful, confident, safe). When you go away from home, notice what signs and symptoms are present—grouchy, tired, stressed, difficulty getting along with others or getting stuff done. Increase your repertoire of ways to get back to your natural home.

Bridge in forest

Build bridges back to your natural home state of being. Dedicate yourself to spending more time in joy. Use your journal to make a list of what brings you back (for example, exercising, practicing yoga or marital arts, meditating, resting, praying, making love, gardening, cooking, playing music, making art, volunteering, etc)

By shifting the neural pathways and chemical composition of the brain and heart with these practices, you affect your health, mood and energy. As your attitude improves, your joy returns.  Knowing that Joy lives under the surface and can be called forth at any time is so encouraging! Being friends with Joy increases your confidence and intention to create the life of your dreams.

Lorena and Kyle Kite toast their love, 2014 Ghost Ranch

What have you found works for you? in your relationship? Share in the space below or on our Facebook page.

Take good care of yourself and let your light shine!

Your relationship coaches,

Ruth Sharon and
Jim Sharon




Authors of “Secrets of a Soulful Marriage”



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