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Media Addiction and Intimacy


I have been noticing my media addiction. Being hooked on social media and electronics is seriously distracting me from intimacy with those in my life. I am shocked to say this! How surprising that I too am sucked into the feeling of urgency to keep checking my gadgets, all the while neglecting those in my presence.

I consider myself very relationship-oriented and desire emotional closeness and intimacy with those in my life. How did this happen and what can I do about it? Are you with me?

couples' media addictionHas your life become unmanageable due to your reliance on electronic devices? Have your relationships been lacking vitality and depth? Are you overstimulated and in a state of stress most of the day, and having trouble sleeping at night? Do you default to media to fill time, give you a sense of busyness and avoid healthy practices? We may have a crisis on our hands.

I propose we make a summer challenge through Labor Day and report back to each other about what happens. Will you join me? Simply email me at and say, Yes ! I am in! Then we will schedule a free call to track and support your intention/goal to be less dependent on media and more connected to real people in real time.

Below are the ways I am being proactive to cut down my media usage. Please add your ideas in the comments below and on our Facebook page.

  1.  I am paying attention to the compulsion to check my email, Facebook, text and calls very frequently throughout the day. I am tracking mentally, and may start to chart, the number of times I check these in an hour and in a day.
  2.   I am asking myself questions to become more aware, such as:
  • Am I awaiting a call, email or text to forward a project?
  • Am I scheduling/planning on my electronic calendar to be more efficient?
  • Am I just restless and in unconscious mode, using the media to be doing something?
  • Am I avoiding a task or a connection?
  • Am I uncomfortable in a public setting?

Unplug Logo 2012

3. I am making a conscious effort to take breaks from media and manage my addiction. I need support from those around me, so I am engaging the help of my dear husband, Jim. Here are my challenging strategies so far:

  • Turn off the power and charge my phone and computer in a distant room at night, after a certain hour (I’m trying 9 p.m.).
  • Keep the phone off until I am finished with my morning ritual of praying, stretching, meditating and eating breakfast.
  • Check my computer for relevant emails and to conduct business during my work day, not for following random posts and emails.
  • Return calls and check texts and phone messages at designated times during my workday (before lunch, at my afternoon break and at the end of my workday) and resist the temptation to check more often.
  • Put the phone far from me during mealtime, in restaurants, on dates, in the bedroom and in the car. Do not use media anytime I am with my partner, friends or family.
  • Take a day off, usually Saturday, to unplug from the outside stimuli so I can rest, be in nature, connect with real people and pray.

4. I am practicing having a compassionate heart about my addiction, forgiving myself and those in my sphere who are not present when I want to be with them. I hereby make a solemn commitment to be present with myself, my beloved, family, friends, clients, colleagues and the Divine without resorting to media for stimulation and distraction.


I know it may seem ironic to ask you to read this post on a computer or phone and make comments here or via social media, but let’s be honest…no one is going to completely disconnect! But I hope you will accept my challenge to cut back on media/electronic device usage and really enjoy fun summer activities, glorious nature and our dear ones who crave connection with us.

Let us know how we may support you. Send me your email “I’m in” and we can talk!

Your relationship coaches,
Ruth Sharon
Jim Sharon

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Jim and Ruth Sharon

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