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It’s the Little Things

When Jim and I were first married (we are talking about 1970!), I made every little effort to please him. I would serve him the nicest cut of meat or the intact piece of pie. Over the years, I let this slip, being so busy and egalitarian and all. Now in our spiritual practice of respect and courtesy, I find myself doing the little things again.

strawberry-omeletServing him a lovely veggie omelette with sliced strawberries this morning, I took extra effort to arrange his plate beautifully. I fill with warming love in my heart as I honor and cherish Jim, in the little things.

I invite you to join me in slowing down to enjoy the present moment and show your love in the small details. Here are some ideas to get started. Please share your experiences below or on our special Soulful Couples Facebook page.

  • romantic-couple-walkingTake a walk or look out the car or house window — notice the beauty all around. Open your eyes, ears and nostrils to the world around you. Let your breathing become slower and deeper. Let your thoughts quiet down. Share what pleases your senses and ask your partner to do the same. Make a game of finding what brings joy or humor in the present moment.
  • Touch each other with small gestures of kindness, generosity and heart-felt gifts (may be as tiny as a colorful autumn leaf). What is your “love language?” Do you fill up with a sweet kiss, hug, affirming words, time to hang out, play, sexual pleasure? Let your partner know what is important to you to share your love in little ways.
  •  Sometimes the “behind the scenes” acts of service touch your partner–try folding the laundry, making the bed really nicely,  cleaning the kitchen floor or getting the groceries as a surprise (if that is not your normal thing to do).
  • Communicate clearly and directly by asking for what you want or need in the moment. Turn those complaints or judgments into requests and watch the magic begin!

couple_communicatingA few examples of clear communication: “It’s so cold in here” may be turned into, “Would you please turn up the heat (or hold me or toss me that blanket)?”  Or “Are you really going to wear that tonight for our dinner out?” can be said proactively as “Oh honey, I love your brown sweater and tan pants–you look so sexy in them. Would you wear that outfit tonight?”

Simple formulas: When you hear yourself complaining, stop and shift to transform your words into a request. When you hear yourself saying “YOU make me mad or YOU always/never do this…Stop and Shift to I feel (emotion not judgment)…and I want/need.”

Let us know how we may support you in your relationship. Call us for a free consultation: (303) 796-7004.

Your Relationship Coaches,
Ruth Sharon
Jim Sharon

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Jim and Ruth Sharon

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