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Fresh Start

Virtually all of us have made earnest resolutions or set goals for the new year, right?! Those usually involve some form of improved self-care, accomplishments, or character/habit changes. I invite you to use the fresh start of the new year to focus on a few areas regarding your relationship with your partner or significant other.

Let’s begin in an upbeat manner. What are several main ways that you have become more positive or evolved in your primary relationship during this past year? I’ll offer a few personal examples with my wife. Clearly, I’ve been more tender and affirming toward Ruth during 2017. I’m pleased that I exercised more control of my temper than ever when a conflict arose. I’ve also worked better along side her in facilitating counseling or coaching sessions. We’ve traveled very well together on each of three 7-to 10-day trips we took this past year. Really acknowledge yourself for your relationship gains/growth over the course of the year!

Now for a challenge that I suggest would be very conducive to enhancing your special relationship. For each of the following bulleted items, list two significant ways you’d commit to improving your relationship in 2018. Notice the first three of these bullets involve attitude shifts. Each of these areas calls on you to overcome a type of barrier to intimacy.

  • Being more accepting (less judgmental)
  • Letting go of expectations
  • Releasing rules or conditions for your mate to demonstrate or “prove” his/her love
  • Become clearer and cleaner (less manipulative) in expressing your emotions and needs

Regarding myself, I commit to listening more fully to Ruth’s feelings and views, which tend to run deep. Similarly, I also know that I need to be more considerate of some of her desires and decisions that differ from my own.

Consider sharing your intentions or commitments with your partner and/or a support person who would hold you accountable. Each bullet point is rife with opportunity for dialogue.

Wishing you an abundance of genuine love this year and beyond!

Toward elevating your love in 2018,

Jim SharonJim Sharon, Ed.D., a licensed psychologist in private practice, has served as a counselor for over 40 years. He attained his life coach certification in 2001 and has received additional training in spiritual direction. Since 2014, he and his wife, Ruth, have specialized in coaching committed, devoted couples to significantly enhance their relationship. Jim and Ruth were voted best relationship coaches in Colorado in 2015 and 2016. Jim has previously served as a business and agency consultant, presented at state and national psychological conferences and has appeared on many radio and TV shows. He is the author of two books and many professional articles.

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2016 Best in Category: Relationship Coaching

Jim and Ruth Sharon

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