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I Really Need Your Love!
In this month dedicated to celebrating love, especially romantic love, I’d like to discuss the influence of much of the music written for lovers and broken-hearted people.
Tribute to THE Balabusta
My 98-year-old mother-in-law Shirley passed in early January, having by one month reached her long-time goal of living beyond her mother’s age. In an era of stay-at-home moms, Shirley was the quintessential balabusta—a Yiddish expression meaning “mistress of the house” or good housekeeper. She was the poster girl for a clean and organized household. All of her relatives teased Shirley about remaining within arm’s reach of her yellow sponge. To exemplify her systemized ways of doing things, she conscientiously kept the mustard to the right of the ketchup in her refrigerator. When dinner guests were due, Shirley inevitably set the table at least a day prior to their arrival.
Putting the Holy in Holiday
I’m old enough to have sadly witnessed decades of increasing commercialization of Thanksgiving, Chanukah, and Christmas in our country. Holiday advertising has started earlier and is more prolific than ever. In recent years, Thanksgiving celebrations are often interrupted by Black Friday shopping, which actually begins on Thanksgiving itself, to be followed by Cyber Monday. Most stores keep longer hours for weeks leading to Christmas.
Turkey Time Talk
Everyone realizes that Thanksgiving Day is an annual holiday set aside for family and friends to gather, play games, watch football, and feast together. I suggest that optimally, Thanksgiving also offers a special opportunity to reflect on and express what we’re deeply grateful for in our lives.
A Vital Journey
As Jews from birth, my wife Ruth and I have aspired for decades to visit our homeland Israel. As Sufi mystics and peacemakers, we have worked for years to unite the Abrahamic traditions and have envisioned engaging in unifying dialogues in Israel. Finally, at the respective ages of nearly 72 and 70, we were blessed to spend two full weeks in Israel (following five days enjoying Greece), traveling through many Israeli cities and towns.
Four Worlds Part 4: Spirituality in Partnership
This blog post concerning spirituality with your partner is the final one of a four-part series on the Four Worlds. Spirituality is a significant or even foundational element of many people’s lives (as it is for Ruth and me). However, for many others, it is non-relatable, or an area that is lightly touched upon - or outright avoided. Some folks consider themselves both spiritual and religious; others endorse just one of those terms.
Four Worlds Part 3: Mental, Not Judgemental
This blog post, the third of a four-part series on the Four Worlds, is focused on the mental aspect. I will touch on several components of mental activity and primarily address an area that I consider especially empowering for individuals and in relationships. One form of couple's intimacy that often gets downplayed involves intellectual, topical, philosophical, or political discussions.
Re-Connecting During the Dance of Distance
Conflicts with your partner so often occur when the two of you are not in sync. The dance of distance or disconnection happens in a variety of circumstances and for a number of reasons.
The Little Things
Little things are the building blocks of big things, as a house is comprised of individual bricks and as snowflakes bond together to form snow piles. All types of accomplished athletes and artists know the necessity and power of drilling fundamentals. Similarly, engaging in a regular series of small niceties inevitably creates intimacy and relationship health, which is the focus of this blog post.
Presence with Your Partner
Having recently presented a program on Cultivating Mindfulness to the Colorado Chapter of the International Coach Federation, and wanting to elevate my own mindfulness, I decided to address here the topic of relationship presence. I have observed that my ability to remain present varies from fairly weak to very strong, depending on many circumstances. I'm typically most attentive when working with clients. Lately, though, my wife Ruth has been requesting greater attunement from me when she is speaking about herself.